Beware of Tomijhy!

Sadly, even E.F.J's can sometimes be led astray by false prophets. The most notorious and evil of these prophets is an amoral little demon called Tomijhy, whose mission is to lure unsuspecting followers of JIMOTHY to the dark side, if you will. But be warned- Tomijhy is a conniving little trickster, and it isn't easy to avoid his un-Enlightening maneuvers. 

It helps if you can realize that Tomijhy can take a single mortal form, whereas JIMOTHY inhabits all physical beings in a spiritual sort of way, so although Tomijhy may try to convince you that he is JIMOTHY, you know that he is not, because it is impossible for things to be that way.

Also, Tomijhy's mortal form is deathly allergic to mollusks, so always ask to discuss things pertaining to his "religion" over a nice seafood dinner, so when he swells up, you can escape and go back to leading a Jimlightened lifestyle.

The Conversion Process

Unlike most other religions, what with their rituals and knowledge of holy books and all that, to be a follower of Jimothianism you must only purchase a copy of "The Path To Jimlightenment" and recite the following oath whilst placing your nose on the back cover of the Book to convert:

"I hereby acknowledge and view in a positive light the superiority of JIMOTHY, the creator ODAR, and the Holy Food pudding, and am willing to occasionally tell people about JIMOTHY if I think that JIMOTHY thinks that it will improve their lives."

It's as simple as that. No changing your lifestyle, no tacky ceremonies, none of that. Just a book, an oath, and an acknowledgement. It's things like this that make Jimothianism great.

Levels of Jimothianism- Human

Sadly, many people are not even aware of JIMOTHY and his great power. Followers of Jimothianism call these people Filthy Common People, or F.C.P.'s. These people unfortunately make up around 80% of the world. 

At one level up, we have the Recognizers. These people are aware of JIMOTHY's existence, but scarcely even acknowledge him or, if they do, acknowledge him in a negative way, and thus cannot be considered true followers. Recognizers make up about 10% of the world.

At another level up, we have Followers. These people are aware of JIMOTHY's existence, but still scarcely acknowledge him- what distinguishes them from the Recognizers is that they always acknowledge him in a positive light. Followers make up about 5% of the world.

At the top level, we have the Enlightened Followers of JIMOTHY, or E.F.J.'s. These people are aware of JIMOTHY's existence, acknowledge him regularly and positively, and try to raise awareness of JIMOTHY and his greatness in their day to day activities. Unlike the other three levels, one must be born an E.F.J., as they are able to communicate with JIMOTHY from birth, and you cannot acquire said ability. Anyone who tells you otherwise is an idiot, and I would know, as I myself am an E.F.J., and not an idiot. E.F.J.'s make up the remaining 5% of the world.

These are the human levels of Jimothianism. Beyond that, we have JIMOTHY's invention pudding, then JIMOTHY himself, and then the creator ODAR.

Jimothy and pudding- the best things ever

What makes this blog different from the many others posted around the web is that it his supported by the Supreme Being JIMOTHY and his divine creation pudding. These are to be valued above all mortal and immortal things, as they are clearly superior in all ways. Failure to acknowledge the superiority of JIMOTHY will result in me tracking you down and striking you repeatedly over the head with a hardback copy of "The Path to Jimlightenment- A Compendium of Rules, Regulations, Commandments, and Trivial Nonsense Regarding All Things JIMOTHY". At over 14,256 pages, it's really not something you want bashed against your cranium, so take that as a warning. I shouldn't even have to remind you about pudding, because everyone likes pudding, right?

I was originally going to make this blog a vehicle for other subjects whilst also informing the populace of the importance of JIMOTHY and pudding, but I have decided to do it the other way round, where JIMOTHY and pudding are at front and center and the rest is just miscellany I deem interesting enough to post here.